What counts as cheating?

The reason for this post is that I was very inspired by two blogs that I have read so far. The first by emilyism and the second by rod both discussing infidelity in general and infidelity in the work place. The question then came up what counts as cheating? I've my own personal views on the matter so I thought it would be great to break away from my usual rambling and updates of my music career to bring you my definition of cheating.

Marriage or relationships in general, is a social commitment to each other where both parties promise their bodies and soul to each other and only each other. Cheating is when you break this vow or promise towards each other, in a sense cheating the vow.

However there never was a book on cheating that listed down from A-Z about what constitutes as cheating. So far it has been up to the couples in relationships to define the lines of cheating or infidelity. Some maybe conservative and no contact with the opposite sex is allowed at all is one extreme. Then there are those couples who "swing" and maximum "contact" is enjoyed towards the opposite sex to the fullest...To a certain extent and limits.

If we look at relationships as contracts, we can say the terms of the contracts are what the offerer (one who makes the agreement) and offeree (one who accepts the agreement) agree to be. Both parties decide what boundaries would be set within a larger legal body which is the Law. Same thing for relationships, the boundaries of what is cheating is defined by the couple and what they are comfortable with within the boundaries of society and social norms.

Society and social norms do play a part as well in defining what is cheating, or persuading one of the partners to believe that the other is cheating on him/her. A person may find it okay if his/her partner is having lunch with a friend, but the gossiping mouths of society who may see that as a form of cheating as it could be constituted as a "date" would persuade the person to redefine his own interpretations of cheating. Thus an innocent lunch can turn into a scandalous love affair thanks to the mouths of society.

Personally, cheating for me is based on intimacy as well as the sexual interactions. For example I call my nearest and dearest by a cute pet name and me using that to another women would be cheating to me. Although that would be a small form of cheating which can most often then not be forgivable but still the emotional attachment to the name implies that I am having feelings for another though undeveloped. Having sex with someone other than your partner is universally considered to be cheating, however the line can be blurred for consenting couples who swap partners. In a sense when this happens it is an extension of the boundaries which hold the relationship together and fornication with another is acceptable. Then again this is generally shunned by the bulk of society and only a select few with completely liberal perceptions or high sex drives indulge in such activities.

Cheating also happens when there is a sense of jealousy and betrayal. Without these emotions cheating loses it's meaning so to speak. To an extent it could be said that cheating is betraying the trust of your partner, and what that implies is purely based on how much tolerance your partner has. Let's face it we human-beings have needs and when we have a partner it is about wanting to be loved, and when your partner betrays that, you feel cheated of your trust, time, emotional attachements and money.

it could all be summed up that cheating= betrayal and lack of trust, which brings about jealousy and anger. Nobody wants to be the one left hanging in the game of love...that is why it hurts so much.

well basically that is my opinion on the matter... Feel free to comment on my theory.