Guys and girls...

Relationships are wonderful thing. What's more beautiful then two people being with each other and sharing the good and bad that life has to give us.



However at times there are differences and in a relationship (with those of the opposite genders anyways) tend to be like guessing games at times or a cloud of hints that one has to pick out.



This thought occurred to me when hanging out with a couple of my friends a few weeks back and for some almost fateful reason all of us (there were three of us), on the same night, on the same hour were glued to our handphones either talking or messaging the one we love, trying to sort out various problems.



Once we were done the three of us shared our stories and we came to a conclusion on men and women based on our experiences in past or recent relationships and a pattern seem to surface.



First we realized no matter how many relationships you've been in (or how little) you never seem to get it right. There is always one point where you either make the same mistake or some new problem comes up that you thought it would be easy to handle but things are blown out of proportion.



We realize the Female kind tends to get really angry when they are stuck in a situation that they cannot control... Yes everybody feels the same way but the difference is how deal with it. Guys tend to be the "lets solve the problem" while girls tend to be "lets talk about it".

This might lead to conflict at times because when a girl expects you to listen you tend to zone out because you are either trying to figure a solution out based on what she tells you or you just plain don't wanna listen.

For example a girl complains about a co-worker who is trying to destroy her life or is a real bitch (at times things could be blown out of proportion...) for us guys we'd suggest "just go up to her and do something". Of coarse this to the girl may seem like something of the impossible and she wishes not to do so... For a guy it would be "let's settle this now and get it over with" but for a girl it's lets "wait it out...Maybe things will get better".

For guys the latter is a slap in the face where we say "hello...Your just gonna sit there and do nothing?". See us guys have a problem with leaving things unsolved and when we do leave things unsolved we feel that the problem is not worth anytime to be solved (or we are just plain goddamn lazy to do anything about it)



Another issue that pops up was hints. Girls drop out hints all the time and the expect guys to understand what's going on! I mean hello if guys were psychic that would be a different story but we are not so plain words to express what's on your mind would be sufficient. There are many times myself where I would ask a girl "hey a penny for your thoughts...Tell me what's on your mind." and the same answer always comes out..."Nothing". I have learned that a death sentence comes to any guy that just says "okay...". You literally have to pry the information with your bare hands. Even then you get part of it...Can be really frustrating at times cause if I don't get the whole story I'm left with this tinggly feeling at the back of my brain (like a spider-sense) that tells me there are more to the story and it won't go away til I find out what it is.



Here is a general rule...Nobody gets hints or gets it the way you want it to be done. When a hint is given it is a guessing game and sometimes we hit the bulls-eye there are times that we don't (us guys mostly). Here is a question for the girls...When guys drop hints...Do you guys get it? I'm sure some girls are like what? Guys drop hints but they mostly appear emotionally unavailable!

My answer to that is "That is a hint!". When we have something on our minds we clam up and appear unavailable emotionally. We tend to linger on a problem til it's solved...We are the mister fix it of the world! The solution generators! And we like things direct...So when a guy says "nothing..." He really is thinking of nothing.



A friend once said that "girls are Simple/Complex,while guys are Complex/Simple" (This only applies in relationships as far as I've seen at times in the professional world women can be very direct and goal oriented which a good thing...Go girls!) . What this means is basically girls know what they want(Simple...To get a guys attention or other things like the new shoes that just came out) but the tend to Beat around the bush or drop hints (Complex.), as guys we are constantly searching for the best possible solution (Complex...Like how when we are lose our way, guys are never lost...We just found a new destination) and we try to make it easier so a solution can be reached (Simple...Hence the thinking). However Simple for guys also refer to our simple mindedness in certain things (easiest route) like everybody knows a guy is run basically on Food, Water and Sex! We could even live without the first two but the last one is questionable. Yes we have layer like an onion too but hey when it comes down to it... These are the basics.

Girls are more the emotional side of things (Complex), which is both good and bad. They tend to go for the connection (guys do too...But that always happens as a unexpected effect, as oppose to girls its a goal) which is good as that bonds two people together but the bad is that a times they can be overly sensitive and how the react to this varies from girl to girl. Some can be clingy and some can be possessive.

Guys can be possessive and clingy but that's only because he doesn't want other people to have "access" to his girl. (You can refer to Emilyism's blog to refer to on differences in jealousy types with guys and girls.)



Why are guys so sexually oriented at times? And girls can go long periods without? Well it all has to do with this little fact... Girls since the age of thirteen, everybody wants to have sex with them ! They have options. Guys don't we have to go on it alone!



So far that's part one of my Relationship theory. I shall further elaborate on this in my next blog. Feel free to give your feed back and add in your input.